#which is how long I've been working on that damn fanned fiction

[ruoyeming]

Zombie apocalypse AU hualian designs for my fanfic that I WILL finish.. for real guys...

[yamujiburo]

Some of this might sound intentionally hostile in text and I apologize.

I'm saying this as an abuse survivor mind you - don't throw "abusive ships" under the bus so easily - at least, so long as they're not actually glamorizing the abuse. I lived that irl and I personally find someone overcoming it, slowly having enough of that bullshit and getting out over time, and the other person having to wipe their own butt for once after they've made the damn mess, very refreshing. Maybe that's not a ship in the traditional sense. It's no happily ever after bc it shouldn't be, but I find stories like mine shyed away from so often because even the portrayal gets considered a "canon ship". ... that's just how media works now, I guess? I very rarely See a fictional relationship not called a ship in literally any context now so that's the definition I'm running on.

I wish more people were willing to portray the hardships of finding acceptance outside of "whoever you can find will accept you" very much, and finding the better things after. I wish people weren't terrified out of portrayimg situations like mine.

Jessie.. is not a good person in canon. You expect me to believe she moved into to hanamusa seamlessly, without falling on her ass? I never see you talk about Jessie's abusive tendencies in canon. You never talk about the inherent meanness she needed to get over to get there. She's quite aml lot like my ex in canon, actually.

What do you mean you're going to just remove from the character that she is abusive to those around her. Jessie hits people. She takes her own junk out on others all the time. Do you even like the character then, are you actually invested in her growing, or are you just making an OC at this point?

Idk. Do you, boo. But you are posting about a character who, whether you like it or not, is canonically abusive. I just don't buy that dating Ash's mom alone fixed her. That isn't... How that works. It would be excellent if it did. Part of my love of hanamusa is that it signals Jessie's change - but she could have changed for anyone before now.

What makes Delia different? How is she specifically a turning point for Jessie? Because Jessie's flaws go well beyond just bossing people around.

I would love if my abuser had the same outcome as your Jessie. I adore your portayals of hanamusa, where she's still flawed but still strives to do better. That's all I ever wanted from my ex.

What the fuck got her there tho.

Anyways I've been watching a lot of Bojack Horseman lately -

I agree with you! I don't think abusive relationships (or any tough subject matter in general) should be shied away from in media. It can be powerful when executed well and written by folks who are equipped to tell those kinds of stories. I do think it's sad when people treat it as off limits. But the ask I got was definitely more about which ships I have where I actually like the relationship between the characters. I think the semantics of the word "ship" are kind of vague or rather, over time, got so specific to only mean "absolutely love together and want them as endgame" (for most people anyways). So that's usually what I take the word to mean when people ask me about it.

I can 100% appreciate how an abusive relationship is written and handled, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna ship an abuser with their victim (that falls into the glorifying you're talking about). Love Bojack Horseman! Big fan! I think the way they handled Bojack and Sarah Lynn was beautifully and tragically well written. But does that mean I ship Bojack and Sarah Lynn? Absolutely fucking not.

I've talked about Jessie's character plenty on this blog and the way she's handled in earlier seasons specifically. This is kind of a summary: If we look at it on surface level, yes we can say she was abusive. But I think it's important to acknowledge and take into account the medium, time period and culture. Slapstick and cartoon violence was HUGE in anime and animation in the 90s (and prior to that too). Characters were always cartoonishly slapping each other around with giant mallets, folding fans, etc. Looney Tunes style. These slapstick bits were always distinct from real abuse and hurt (for Pokémon, Jessiebelle comes to mind). Mean slapstick wasn't a character trait exclusive to Jessie either. We saw it in Misty, James, Meowth, characters of the day and pretty much any character who got mad. It was a visual shortcut to show anger.

This type of slapstick has since (thankfully) died out and it hasn't really been a part of the Pokémon franchise since the early 2000s. However, Jessie was a notably special case. One of my favorite fun facts about the Pokémon anime is that there was a point in the series where Megumi Hayashibara (Jessie/Musashi's seiyuu) told the writers that moving forward, she no longer wanted Jessie to be violent or to be shown hitting James or Meowth (source: her memoir "The Characters Taught Me Everything"). She thought it directly went against the vision Takeshi Shudo had for Jessie, James and Meowth, when he created them, which was that they are good natured villains. If you watch from DP and on, Jessie never lays a hand on either of them. I think it was a such a good move on Pokémon's part to change her character like that and I'm forever grateful that Hayashibara said something! Whenever I write Jessie now, I always keep that in mind. She's mean, shouty and stupid but would never genuinely hurt those she cares about.

From then, her character becomes much more bearable. She's still bossy, mean and vain (typical cartoon villainess attributes) but I'd hesitate to say abusive. She'll still yell at James and Meowth, they all yell at each other, but in more of a sibling way (imo) rather than a "i'm actively trying to hurt your feelings way". The show makes a point especially in later seasons to show that Jessie, James and Meowth are not beyond being redeemed. From conception the whole POINT of the Team Rocket trio was that they are redeemable but their persistence and obsession keeps getting in the way of them seeing that there's a better life for them out there.

I won't deny that Jessie was unsavory in earlier seasons, but when I write her, I choose to write the version that Takeshi Shudo and Megumi Hayashibara had envisioned from the get go. She's still incredibly flawed and makes plenty missteps but wants to be better as you stated! My favorite part about Jessie is that she's a piece of shit LOL and I enjoy writing the changes she goes through to be better (but then still showing her default so some of her evil tendencies). In this AU, Delia doesn't fix Jessie. Jessie fixes Jessie because she is with someone makes her want to be a better person. She's already in the middle of turning over a new leaf before even meeting Delia, after leaving Team Rocket. Writing Jessie as legitimately abusive I think could work, but that's not my story to tell and if someone who were more equipped to tell that story did, I'd be very interested to take a listen!

I hope this doesn't come off as trying to deny or invalidate your experience. If you see that in Jessie, I hear you! This is just how I've interpreted her character over the years, having watched every episode of Pokémon and reading Japanese interviews from the cast and crew. She's such a compelling character and I love how messy she is

[s1k0zu]

Hey everyone,

While I was a bit (okay a lot) late to board the Austin train, once I did, I fell HARD. Before I saw him in Dune II, I knew about him, but never thought to take a second look.

Then I saw Dune and I still can't get Austin's performance out of my head. He was amazing! 😍

I've devoured everything I can find with him since then, and I've been reading a lot of fan fiction lately, and a scene has been playing on repeat in my mind, so I decided to write it down.

I love all the Feyd fics but I find myself wanting more of Austin and less of Feyd (he's just a bit too intense and I kinda miss the hair). So I came up with the idea below.

Let me know if you liked it and if you want me to try writing about something else. 🫣

Fair warning ⚠️ I've never written any fiction before, so this will probably be a mess...and it's maybe a bit too long.

🔞 It's pure smut, so minors stay away!

Under his skin

You and Austin have been together since before his Elvis movie.

You'd met when you were teenagers and became fast friends, but until you had to spend two weeks locked together in his apartment in Australia, because of the pandemic, that was all you were - friends.

You'd visited him for the weekend and then the lockdown forced you to stay.

The tension between the two of you had started escalating gradually, until one night he couldn't resist kissing you any longer. All it took was that one kiss and you were his forever.

You started getting jobs in the crew of all of his projects so you could stay together, which is why you're now in Budapest on the set of Dune II.

It's early morning and it's already as hot as hell. Add to that the giant sound box you've been setting up, so Austin can film his fight scenes in it later, and you're close to fainting.

You haven't seen Austin in two months, because he was busy training in L.A. and you were on location in Jordan with the rest of the cast.

You flew in with the night flight, dropped your bags at his place and went straight to set. He was already there, getting into costume, and you didn't have the time to see him.

Once you're done setting up and finally have some free time you head to his trailer to surprise him and wish him luck.

You open the door and cool air hits your face. Then you see him and you're sure the chill running down your body isn't from the AC.

He's gloriously naked, a black loincloth is all that covers his body. They've painted his torso with black lines and he's got his bald cap already in place. You've seen him in full costume before, but only in photos. This hits differently.

There's something feral and imposing about him and it's doing things to you. Gone is the sweet, gentle Austin you know and in his place is a man who exudes power and dominance.

His body is pure perfection and you know how hard he worked to get here.

"Hey, Earth to y/n. Are you ok?" Austin's voice comes through the fog.

"Yeah", you sigh, "It's just..."

"What?", he asks, a sly smirk forming on his lips.

"Let's just say if you weren't about to shoot, I'd be ruining your makeup right now", you say, raking your gaze over his gorgeous naked body.

"Fuck", he mutters and steps toward you, biting his lower lip, his eyes darkening with want.

"Ah, ah", you stop him, placing a hand on his chest, "makeup."

"Damn you woman! How am I supposed to focus now?", he asks brushing a stray hair behind your ear.

"Hey, I'm not the one wearing next to nothing here," you tell him, "and you're not the only one having a hard time focusing."

You brush your lips against his and his hands instantly grip your face as he deepens the kiss. All the frustration of not being able to touch each other for the past two months melts as your tongues dance frantically, fighting for dominance.

"I'll make you a deal," you say, panting, "you go slay them with your talent and we can come back here during the lunch break, to finish this."

"Deal", he says huskily in your ear, melting you with his beautiful voice.

A crew member comes in to call him to set and breaks the tension before you two can go any further.

You watch him perform, always in awe of his ability to switch between himself and the character in seconds. You busy yourself with work and bringing him water bottles and towels between takes, and just like that the hours go by and it's time for lunch.

"I can't wait to take this thing off my head. I'm sweating like a pig," Austin says, taking a towel from your hands. He's been doing fighting scenes for the past hour and he's in full combat get up.

"I'll stick around to help with the set. Text me when you're done and we can take a shower," you say, walking your fingers playfully up his chest. You lean up to give him a quick kiss but he grabs your waist to keep you there, turning it into a steamy makeout session.

"I've missed you so much," Austin breathes out, his forehead touching yours.

"I've missed you too," you say, tilting his head lower to kiss his nose.

You disengage and he heads to his trailer so the makeup team can remove his bold cap.

A while later you get a text from Austin:

R u coming? We had a deal remember?

You mutter an excuse and head towards his trailer, willing yourself not to run.

#

When you enter, you see him running a hand through his wet hair, the bald cap gone. He still hasn't removed his costume.

"Want some help with that my lord", you ask, starting to unzip the back of his wetsuit.

When he hears you call him that Austin feels a shiver run down his body. He turns and wraps his arms around you.

"Say that again," he growls.

His eyes are dark with desire and you swear you can see Feyd still lurking in the background, ready to pounce.

"You should play the bad guy more often. It's a good look on you...my lord."

"Yeah? Wanna show me just how much you like it?"

You grip his neck, fingers tangled in his hair, and kiss him long and hard, your tongues fighting for dominance. You bite his lip when he pulls away and the groan that escapes from his throat sets your whole body on fire.

He returns the favour by placing kisses on your jaw and down your neck. When he reaches your collarbone he gives it a bite in just the right spot, making heat pool between your legs.

You lean into him, feeling his erection against you and bite his earlobe, whispering into his ear: "I want you inside me."

Austin's hands tighten on your ass and he gives you a smouldering look. His blue eyes are dark with desire as he dives in to kiss you again.

You start undressing each other frantically, hands running all over, tongues locked in a dizzying dance. The room fills with the sounds of heavy breathing, your moans, Austin's groans and wet kisses.

He grabs you by the hand and pulls you into the shower.

You're both panting while he turns around to fidget with the water tap. You admire his naked body while he adjusts the temperature. He's a work of art - all lean muscle chiselled to perfection.

Your eyes travel down his chest to the trail of hair under his belly button and between his thighs and the sizeable erection he's got. His penis is perfect: a round red tip, its length marbled by veins. You can't wait to taste it and feel it inside you.

You can't believe he's yours.

"My eyes are up here, gorgeous", Austin's amused voice brings you out of your dazed wet dream.

"And what a sight they are," you smile up at him.

After seeing you standing gloriously naked before him, raking your lust-filled stare over his body, Austin can't hold himself back any longer.

His hands come up to grab your face and he bends down to devour you. As the kiss deepens, Austin's hands travel down your body, lingering on your breasts. He pinches one of your nipples and you moan into his mouth.

He breaks the kiss to look at you.

Before you can answer he bends down and licks your neck, slowly descending to your left nipple.

"Fuck you're gorgeous. I can't wait to be inside you."

You start kissing his neck, his chest, his abs, your hands trailing down to his hips. His skin tastes salty from the sweat. You kneel in front of him and lick his length slowly, feeling the veins with your tongue. He lets out a groan and braces himself against the tiled wall.

You place tiny nibbles on the head, squeezing his balls, teasing him. He shudders in ecstasy as you swallow as much of his length as you can and start moving your head up and down slowly.

"Fuck, y/n, you have to stop or I'll come...," Austin pants on top of you. You speed up your pace, locking eyes with him.

Seeing you kneeling before him, your mouth on him, looking at him like that drives him over the edge. Austin comes with a groan and you feel his seed spill into your throat. You take him out of your mouth and give the head a little kiss.

"You taste so fucking good every time," you say standing up.

Austin grabs your cheeks and gives you a rough kiss.

"You have no idea how hot you look on your knees, do you?"

When one of his hands sneaks between your legs and he rubs his fingers on your clit you feel a jolt run over your whole body and you can't stop the moan coming out of your mouth.

Austin hears you moan, hands digging into his back and throws caution away - he bites down hard on your nipple, sliding his fingers into you.

"Fuck Austin", is all you can say, your mind going blank with pleasure. You don't know what's gotten into him, but you love this new, dangerous and dominant side he's showing you.

Austin places wet kisses and nibbles all over your breasts and stomach, pumping his fingers into you. You writhe in his arms, hands tugging his hair.

When his mouth descends on your clit you moan loudly. He bites it and then licks the sore spot, curling his fingers inside you. This sends jolts of electricity all over your body and you feel yourself coming, nails digging into his hair.

"Tell me what you want me to do to you," he says, voice hoarse from lust. You can feel his hard length pressing against your entrance.

Austin groans in pleasure when he hears you moan his name, the pain from your nails digging into his scalp sending bolts of pleasure straight to his groin.

He gets up, grabs your hips and lifts you, your back against the tiled wall.

You look at his soft, puffy lips and can't help kissing him again. Austin groans and slips his tongue into your mouth, making you dizzy.

When he finally breaks the kiss to look at you, you see the passion burning in his eyes, but there's something else there too - something feral. You realise he hasn't shaken Feyd off completely.

That sparks something in you, emboldens you.

"Have your way with me, my lord na-Baron. I'm all yours", you say, threading your fingers through his hair and pulling on it, your hips bucking into him.

Hearing you say that, something in Austin snaps. He can't think anymore, all he knows is that he wants to be inside you, now.

With a quiet growl he bends down to crash his lips into yours, sliding into you in one swift move.

You can't help the cry that comes out of your mouth when he slams into you. You were already wet, but he's big.

The sharp pain quickly turns into intense pleasure as he starts thrusting into you with abandon. You can feel every vein on his hard length as he's stretching you and filling you in the best way.

You've been together for years and every time he enters you feels like the first time. It's like your bodies are pieces of the same puzzle. The feel of him inside you is divine.

Austin doesn't wait for you to adjust to his size, he couldn't even if he wanted to. He's possessed by the desire to be inside you, to own you. He picks up his pace, slamming into you, his teeth leaving red marks all over your neck and shoulders. His left hand is moulded to your thigh, his right squeezing your breast.

You've never seen him like this, so forceful and primal, and you realise you love it. As the pain shoots through the pleasure you find yourself coming, trying not to scream. You mould your lips to Austin's to stifle your moans and that just spurs him on. He continues to slam into you, balls-deep, throughout your climax.

After a while, Austin comes to his senses and realises he's too rough, he's hurting you. Just as he slows down his pace, releasing you from his grip, he hears you say:

"No, don't hold back. I want you to lose control. Ravage me."

He looks into your eyes, making sure he didn't just imagine that, and sees only carnal desire and love there. He can't believe you're his.

"Fuck, I love you," he whispers.

You smile and bite his neck hard. The little control he'd managed to take back shatters. Austin slips out of you so he can turn you around, your back towards him, and slams back into you.

One of his hands travels to your neck and squeezes, the other goes to your nipple.

This angle helps him sink even deeper inside you. The sensation is almost too much and you feel the waves of another orgasm coming. Sex with Austin is always great but this is different. He's lost all control and given in to his desire, and you fucking love it.

Austin feels your walls clenching around him and he knows you're close. The hand around your throat tightens as he moves his other hand from your breast to your clit, running his fingers in agonisingly slow circles, and right before you come he inserts two fingers in.

The feeling of his fingers and his hard length inside you is too much and you trip over the edge, your whole body shaking. You claw at his neck and bury your fingers into his hair as he swallows your moans with a kiss when you both come.

You've never seen this side of him before. He's always so protective of you, so gentle. You realise he's been holding himself back, afraid to lose control and hurt you.

He looks at you apprehensively and you smile at him, tugging him close so you can wrap your hands around his neck and give him a slow, tender kiss.

For a while the only sounds in the shower are the running water and your heavy breathing as you're both coming down from your highs.

Eventually, Austin lets you go and eases out of you with a groan. Your legs are shaking as you lean onto the tile wall while he turns around to adjust the showerhead.

He melts into you, relieved you're okay.

You disengage and proceed with your shower, washing each other's hair and bodies, placing soft kisses here and there.

When you're done, Austin stops the water. He swaddles you in a huge fluffy towel, picks you up and carries you to the bed.

He lies next to you on his side, head propped up, facing you, tiny droplets of water running down his face and torso.

"I'm sorry", he says quietly, giving you a sad puppy look and caressing your face.

"For what? Giving me multiple orgasms?"

"No..." he laughs and then falls silent.

"I hurt you. I don't know what came over me."

"Not what, who. You've still got some of Feyd lurking in the background," you say a soft smile playing on your lips.

"That's not an excuse y/n. I should've stopped...I should've..." he trails off, looking remorseful.

"I don't know if you noticed Butler but I liked it. A lot", you lift his head so he can look at you.

"I'm not made of china you know. Promise me you'll stop holding back on me. This was fucking amazing."

"Yeah it was, wasn't it," he says, finally relaxing, "Okay, but on one condition: you promise to tell me if I cross the line."

"Deal," you say and mould your lips over his.

[choke-me-joey]

Ch1/Ch2

Summary: As Joe's long-term girlfriend, you reflect on your relationship over the last 4 years.

Content warning: 18+ so minors are not welcome, real person fiction (don't like, don't read, don't bitch), smut, fluff, angst, probably inaccurate timelines and processes but does anyone really care?, alcohol use, smoking...if I've missed anything please let me know!!

Author's note: when I was deep in my Dan and Phil phase I wrote this, published it on AO3 and then took it down so before anyone says "Hey this looks familiar" don't panic, I'm not stealing anyone's work and I can prove it lmao. Thanks to @harrys-four-nipples for reading this first chapter and telling me it wasn't as shit as I thought. Love you girl 🥰 feedback is always appreciated, let me know if you'd like me to continue this!

Paris

December 2022

After the craziest year anyone could ever imagine, exploring and staying in a variety of hotels across the globe, the last convention of 2022 was finally happening. You had been by your boyfriend's side the entire time; your job as a freelance photographer/social media specialist pretty much allowed you to travel anywhere and everywhere and luckily Joe's team were on board with you providing his official con photos and managing his social media. But as ideal as that sounds, it hadnt been easy.

It had been one of the best experiences of your life, watching the man that you love so, so much bring so much joy to the millions of people around the world who adored him. Despite being at every convention, watching all the fan interactions and all the panels, you were never bored. It hadn't all been perfect though, in fact it had been extremely trying at times, what with Joe being so damn exhausted there was barely any 'you' time, or fans getting a little bit too crazy at the meet and greets, but you wouldn't have traded it for the world.

You'd think that being cooped up on planes, in hotel rooms and travelling constatnly for months on end, spending almost every waking minute of the day together would have seriously damaged your relationship, but in all honesty, it brought you and Joe closer together. Sure, there have been times where you’ve wanted to smother each other with the shitty hotel pillows, but what couple doesn't argue? Without the option of slamming the bedroom door shut and sulking, you've learnt to just talk it out, and move on, and things have just gotten better and better. You had just celebrated our 4 year anniversary in Tokyo last month, and Jamie was constantly teasing you, telling you if you didn't get a ring this Christmas, you two could just run away together instead.

Of course, Joe had gotten super salty at the joke, seemingly never being able to escape the never ending question from his family and friends of when he was finally going to pop the question. He didn't need it from Jamie now too. He was going to do it, he just didn't want to rush it after all.

As it was the last con of 2022, Joe's team had given you some time off to just enjoy the convention, acknowledging that you had worked through your anniversary in Japan. This meant you could actually walk around the con and hang out with some of your friends, and enjoy the panels, which you were grateful for. You had some time to chat with Joe's dad too, which was always a good time, you got on so well with him and it was nice to see just how proud he was of his son.

Although you had been together for 4 years now, you and Joe weren't quite comfortable with going public with your relationship just yet. Joe had sky rocketed to fame overnight and his fanbase could be a little...intense. They went into a frenzy if he was spotted within 5 feet of another girl, and said girls were always stalked and harassed online and Joe didn't want that for you. You'd been pretty good at hiding it so far, most fans just thinking you were part of Joe's management team always there to keep him on schedule. It was a bit shit not being able to hold his hand or give him a hug in public but when the time was right, you both agreed you would go public.

You had headed back to the hotel a little before the con was over, Joe would no doubt get waylaid by fans outside the convention centre and you'd said you would order you both some food and run a bath for him so he could just relax now he was done for the Christmas period. New Orleans was a little after New Years so you'd have time to explore Paris, get home for Christmas and see in the New Year together.

Joe practically collapses through the door and you run to hug him, you were both desperate to touch each other after a long day of pretending to be work friends.

"Hi," you mumbled into his neck. "Last one for this year done, babe. I'm so proud of you."

He doesn't respond, he's holding onto you as if someone was threatening to take you away from him. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"I love you so much," he whispers. "Thank you."

"Joe, you don't need to thank-"

"Yeah, I do. I just thought that you've been there from the very start, and you've worked so hard, putting up with all my shit and you've been so supportive. I couldn't have done it without you." He sniffs, looking a little emotional. "Tonight was the first night I've actually been able to see you and not your camera, and knowing you were actually there, right in front of me, like, everything from the past 4 years went through my head and I could see you smiling at me, and the fans and I just..." he trails off, at a loss for words. You kiss his cheek, your own eyes welling up.

"You're such a soppy git, Joe." You tease him, but he knows you're joking.

"Shut up, you're just as soppy. " He laughs, poking you in the side gently. You poke my tongue out at him and he crosses his eyes in response, before my phone buzzes to let me know our food has been delivered to the hotel lobby. You break away from Joe, kissing his cheek and heading downstairs to grab your food.

You both scoff down your food, both of you having been way too busy to really eat a proper meal today, and then Joe gets into the bath. He tries to persuade you to join him, but honestly the bathtub here was smaller than the one at home, and even that could be a struggle to fit the both of you in, so you decline, changing into your pyjamas and watching some random show on TV and scrolling through your phone, replying to messages in the Quinn family group chat and your own family group chat.

You can't help but bite your lip in appreciation as Joe comes back into the bedroom, a towel around his waist and his curls dripping. He makes his way over to his suitcase in search for a pair of clean boxers. Your eyes scan over his bare torso, his broad shoulders, sharp collarbones, toned arms and his perfect stomach with a dusting of dark hair disappearing into the towel. He feels your eyes on him, standing up and turning around.

"What?" He smirks, stifling a yawn. You return his smirk, stretching a little.

"Nothing, just admiring my boyfriend. That alright with you?"

"Depends, can I ogle you like a pervert the next time you come out in just a towel?" Joe jokes, quickly pulling his boxers on under his towel, pulling it off and hanging it back up in the bathroom, before crawling on the bed and collapsing on his stomach, sighing heavily.

"You do anyway, I'm just more subtle about my staring, Quinn."

"You're just as pervy as me, Y/N, dont even try and pretend you're not. " he laughs, turning onto his side, pulling you down and wrapping his arm around you. You cuddle into him, burying your face in his neck.

"Difference is, Joseph, the whole Internet can see what a flirt you are, nobody has dirt on me."

"M'too tired for your smart arse right now."

"You like my smart arse." You grin into his skin, and he chuckles, the sound rumbling in his throat.

"I like your smart everything," he mumbles, kissing the top of your head. You sigh in response, enjoying the feeling of him cuddled up to you. "M'so tired. And my back is killing me."

"Did you twinge it again?"

"Mm. Hurts."

You untangle myself from him and roll off the bed, rummaging through your suitcases until you find the baby oil you always use to keep your skin moisturised after a shower. You shake it up as you walk towards the bed. "On your stomach, babe."

"That is the most terrifying thing you could say to me whilst holding baby oil." He eyes the bottle in your hands suspiciously, but does what you've said anyway.

"I believe that would actually be 'face down, ass up and just relax'." You smirk, climbing back on the bed, straddling his legs. He groans dramatically, making you roll your eyes and laugh. "You're such a drama queen, babe."

"Making a living off of it, aren't I?"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up Mr Man of the Year." You quip, opening the bottle and pour some of the oil into your hands, rubbing them together to warm it up before pressing your palms against his shoulder blades. You apply just the amount of pressure that you know he likes, rubbing his flawless skin. "That okay?"

He responds by letting out a quiet moan of approval.

"How did I get so lucky?" Joe groans into the pillow as you continue to rub his shoulders and upper back, trying your best to work out the knots in his muscles. You smile, placing a kiss to the back of his neck that makes him shiver slightly.

"You elbowed me in the tits on the Underground and made me spill my coffee all over myself." You chuckle, adjusting your position on his legs so you could massage further down.

"The one time in my whole life that me being a clumsy twat has actually worked out in my favour." Joe's voice is muffled by the pillow, but you can tell he's smiling. He grunts in pleasure as you knead his lower back gently.

"Meh, you're just lucky I thought you were hot." You teased, gently poking him in the sides. He chuckles softly. "And you were, and still can be, so socially awkward, it was endearing."

"Mm, love you." He mumbles, and you know he's slowly falling asleep by the way his body is relaxing beneath you.

"Love you too, babe." You whisper back, moving off of his back and into bed next to him, pulling the covers over both of you. Ypu push his curls back from over his face. "Always have, always will." You kiss his temple and turn off the bedside lamp, letting him sleep off the post convention exhaustion whilst you take advantage of the good selection of TV channels the hotel has.

A few hours later, you're still awake and on your phone, scrolling through Instagram, the TV long turned off. You're laid on your side facing away from your currently snoring boyfriend. Joe grumbles in his sleep and rolls over, moulding his body around yours and spooning you. You feel something poking you in your bum and smirk to yourself, wiggling your butt back against him.

"Hmm, you still awake?" Joe whispers, his voice rough with sleep and exhaustion, one of his hands running over your thigh.

"Mm, I didn't wake you up, did I?" You reply, shivering in delight as his lips graze your neck. You roll over to face him, and he moves your leg on top of his, moving your bodies closer together as he kisses you hard, his hands wandering around to your ass and squeezing it.

Oh.

You see where this is going.

"Are you sure you're up to this, Joe? You're exhausted." You say quietly, trying your best to control your breathing after you break away. Thanks to your busy schedules, it been at least two weeks since you'd last had sex. You snuck in whatever you could, but mostly it was just heavy make out sessions or occasionally a hand and/or blow job to help with Joe's anxiety levels. You were practically soaked already and he'd barely touched you.

"Never too tired for you," he mumbles, pecking your lips softly, and slowly lifting up the hem of your (his) shirt. "Off?"

You nod, and you both work together to rid you of the oversized shirt. "C'mere," he grunts, rolling you on top of him, his hands on your hips as he looks up at me.

"Lazy," you tease, your skin feeling like it's on fire as he runs his hands up your sides.

"Beautiful." He responds, giving you that little smile that makes your heart melt every time. It's a smile that only you get to see, and it's during your intimate moments like this that he smiles like that, and you fall in love with him all over again. You hum and lean down, kissing him passionately, your tongues dancing around each other. His hands return to your hips, pushing them down against his crotch as he lifts his hips up, and the friction and heat makes you both moan. You nibble on his bottom lip, which you know drives him crazy, before moving to kiss his jawline and neck, a somewhat external G-spot for him. "Fuck..."

"Well, if you want, I mean, I was just gonna suck you off and then take care of myself," you grin against his skin, and he responds by slapping your ass lightly. In return, you bite gently on his collarbone, and he grunts, the noise going straight in between your legs. "What do you want, Joe? Tell me."

"Wanna fuck you," he growls, turning his head and capturing your bottom lip between his teeth and tugging gently. "Wanna be inside you so bad, baby, please."

You whimper, nodding. Foreplay would have to wait for tonight.

You sit up and awkwardly peel off your underwear, throwing it somewhere in the room, deciding you'd find it in the morning. You gently palm Joe's cock through his boxers, making him grunt and moan your name loudly, before pulling them down his legs, and he kicks them off his feet. You take his cock into your hand, squeezing gently and stroking him a few times. "Please, baby, m'not gonna last long..." You'll let him off for that, it really has been forever since you last fucked. You reach across to the bedside table, grabbing a condom from your makeup bag (damn your birth control prescription running out before you'd realised) and tearing it open. He holds his hands out to put it on himself, but you slap them away, rolling it on him as slowly as possible, making him grit his teeth, grunt and buck his hips slightly.

Deciding to be a bit more of a tease, you hover above him for a few seconds, grinding down ever so slightly. He grips your hips so tight there will definitely be bruises in the morning, and he bites his lip, whimpering and cursing. You decide to let him off, because you want this just as much as he does, and you place the head of his cock at your dripping pussy, slowly sinking down onto him. He throws his head back and moans, a little too loudly, as do you. "God, I missed this...missed you."

"I missed you too," you sigh, placing your hands on his chest, giving yourself a bit of leverage before you start to move your hips. "Fuck, Joe, you feel so fucking good..." as much as you want this to last, you know it won't. You can already feel your orgasm growing as you grind down against him. He bucks his hips up, his cock brushing my g-spot. "Oh my god, Joe!"

"Fuck," he growls, his breathing heavy. "Faster, baby, please, I-" he cuts himself off with a moan as you obey. "Shit, fuck!"

"You're so loud," you giggle breathlessly, gasping as he places his thumb on your clit and rubs in time with your thrusts. "We're gonna get noise complai-AH, FUCK, JOE!"

"I'm the loud one, am I?" Fucking asshole.

"Shut up," You gasp, as he sits up, wrapping your legs around him and attaches his lips to your collarbone, sucking and biting as you move together. You can tell he's getting close from the way his breath is coming out in pants, and his moans are getting more desperate sounding. He rests his forehead against your shoulder, and you run your fingers through his curly hair, and he looks up at you.

"Kiss me," he whispers, and of course, you do. "M'getting close."

"Me too," you whisper back, and he reaches between you to stroke your clit. "Joe, I-"

"I know."

The room is filled with your moans, and heavy breathing as you both get closer and closer to the edge. Joe moves his hand and lies you down on the bed, so he's on top. He winks at you, and smirks as he puts your legs around his waist, and his hands either side of your head. He ducks down and kisses you softly before moving his hips, fucking you hard and fast, the way he knows you like it.

"Oh,my god Joe, I'm gonna cum!" You moan, digging your nails into his back.

"Do it, wanna feel you cum for me," he groans, and all it takes is him angling his hips just right, and you're coming, moaning his name probably way too loud, your whole body shaking. Joe curses and stills, pushing his cock inside you one last time as he cums into the condom, hard, his head dropping onto your shoulder as he whispers your name, telling you he loves you. You say it back, stroking his neck gently as he collapses on top of you, his head on your chest. "You're amazing."

"I think you'll find that's you, babe." You say breathlessly, grinning like a fool.

"I am pretty fucking good in bed, aren't I?" Joe grins, a teasing lilt to his voice.

"You always know what to say...so romantic," you roll your eyes, poking him in the tummy.

"Mhmm, you're very lucky. I mean, I even make sure you cum every single time we fuck, if that's not true love, I don't know what is." He pulls off the condom, tying it and throwing it into the bedside bin.

"Be still my beating heart!" You laugh and kiss the top of his head, rolling out from underneath him. He pouts, reaching out for you with grabby hands. "Joe, as much as I'd love to cuddle right now, I seriously need to shower after that. Wanna come with?"

"Depends, you might have to roll me, you've worn me out." he yawns, sitting up on the bed. "Besides, I already had a bath. Can't you just give me a sponge bath or something so I don't have to move?"

"Again, lazy. And I know you already showered, but if you think I'm cuddling with you when you smell like sweat and sex, you can fuck right off." You tease, grinning with your tongue poking between your teeth. You turn around, heading into the bathroom and turning on the shower. After waiting for the water to warm up, you step in, relishing the warmth cascading over you. A few minute later, you feel Joe's arms wrap around your waist and his body pressing up against yours. You stand in silence for a few moments, letting water fall down over you both. He then turns you around in his arms so you're facing him, your arms around his neck.

"Y'know, we could have just done it in here, that way we could be in bed right now." He says, flicking his wet hair out of his eyes. You run your fingers over the short hairs at the back of his neck as he leans his forehead against yours.

"Hey, I'm not the one who fell asleep before we'd even had a chance to do anything."

His face falls a little. "I'm sorry, I've been kind of a shitty boyfriend recently, haven't I?"

"What are you talking about?" You frown up at him, his beautiful brown eyes avoiding yours.

"Well, just with conventions and appearances and everything, and how busy we've been, I haven't had time to just...be with you, y'know?"

"Joe, we live together, we travel together, we're with each other every day almost-"

"That's not what I mean, we haven't been on a date in literally forever, I was at the con in Tokyo the entire day of our anniversary, and my dad was with us all day before that, for fucks sake!"

"Your dad is pretty much with us all the time, babe. It doesnt bother me, you know how much I love him. Turn around." You say, squirting some shampoo into your hand and massaging his scalp. He sighs.

"See, this is what I mean. You do all this nice stuff for me, like the back rubs, the food runs, the surprise blowies-"

"Which I do because I want to, not because I feel like I have to." You take the shower head off the wall and rinse his hair out, before running some conditioner through it. "I love you, and I know exactly what being with you entails. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I got salty about everything?"

"A normal one." Joe retorts, turning back around and gesturing for you to turn your back to him so he can wash your hair for you. "And I'm glad you're not, I just feel bad. You do everything for me and I can't even give you five minutes recently."

You don't respond, revelling in the feel of his fingers on your scalp, massaging in the shampoo. You hum appreciatively. He rinses out the shampoo and runs conditioner through your hair, making sure to cover every inch. "When we get home, I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Joe-"

"Please? We can go out and celebrate our anniversary properly, dinner, drinks, a movie, whatever you want."

You turn back around to face him. "What I want, is to stay in, order Chinese, shag and then fall asleep on the sofa with you. Joe you don't have to take me out, or buy me shit to make me feel like you love me. I know you love me, without all the materialistic crap, okay?"

He said nothing, instead he looked at you his eyes looking a little misty. He was an emotional mess tonight, but you couldn't really blame him. He blinked a couple of times, and kissed you on the nose.

"Turn around, you sap." He mumbled, giving you a small smile. He basically meant 'stop before you make me cry' in fewer words. You laughed softly, before turning back around so he could rinse your hair and his. Once you're clean, you step out and dry yourselves off, and you put on Joe's shirt again, this time pairing it with some pyjama shorts. You quickly dry my hair before getting back into bed, settling down with your head on his chest and his arms around you. "See, isn't this better than standing up and actually moving?"

"Mm," you sigh, already feeling your eyes getting heavy. "I miss our bed though."

"Me too, when we get home we are gonna spoon so fucking hard in bed for like a week." He mumbles into your hair.

"What about food and stuff?" You look up at him, raising an eyebrow. He laughs.

"Of all the things you're worried about, I love how food is at the top of that list. I fucking love you." He kisses the top of your head and switches off the bedside light. "Maybe we can persuade Wes to bring us breakfast in bed."

"Oh yeah, I can totally see him being okay with that," you laugh, my hand resting on Joe's stomach. "If anything, you owe me breakfast in bed after all these bloody photos I've taken of you. Know how hard it is to make you look good mid sentence?"

"Ouch, low blow, babe."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You know I love looking at you, chocolate button eyes." You tease, laughing as he groans into his pillow.

"I need to learn to think before I divulge all this stuff. I'm never shaking that am I?"

"Never ever."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Spoiler for Jujutsu Kaisen

I'm sorry it's so long and looks like a vent post. I'm sorry for those of you who had great luck in avoiding Jujutsu Kaisen until now. With that, let me give some context before the assholery.

Jujutsu Kaisen has a breakout character, Gojo, he is unique, flawed, well written, well loved, overpowered, and the most misunderstood character in this series. He recently met his end in the most infuriating way possible. It was an unceremonious death, off screened, after the biggest most violent battle in the series. Before he was brutally offed with just meaningless exposition detailing how he was killed and him uncharacteristically justifying the death in an afterlife scene that's written to appease a large part of the fandom (shippers- he's gay coded, no waifu here). His death completely destroyed his legacy and the future of this manga.

Problem: This is a popular series with disproportionate numbers of haters, casual fans, fans who get their information from tiktok or fanworks instead of the manga, fans who did a surface level reading of it, opinionated fans who didn't read after a certain point but discuss every new chapter like they're experts, people who hate it because they compared it to their favorite series and Jujutsu Kaisen didn't go that way, people who harass the readers and wish bodily harm on the author for not conforming to FANON, the works.

Gojo was MIA for almost 3 years which made fanon takeover the fandom, when he came back the author was accused of mischaracterization and bad writing because he didn't match 3 years of fanon. Reiterating, I mean fanon not headcanon, the headcanons here are almost all fanon based too and you will get nasty anons if you say you dislike FANON or praise CANON but I believe in people's right to headcanon.

My relationship with this: I've been a fan since 2019, this character of Gojo resonated with me like no one did in my 20+ years in fandom, he is my specialest blorbo, his relationship with his best friend has moved me etc. I'm autistic and this is my special interest as well. Needless to say depression has hit me like a freight train.

MY problem: My friend of 7 years who's currently deeply into yuri and danmei, who shared many fandoms with me, has been through the thick and thins with me, has decided to make me an enemy. When the chapter came out he chatted with me sent his condolences. Then he in his own social medias started talking about how he knew it was going to be a bad series, how he's glad he quit after struggling through 50 chapters, made all the jokes in the world about this death, discussed every little thing he hated and mocked this with his other weeb friends who are like the people I mentioned in the Problem section, validated all their complaints based on their reading of the FANON. He has had many discussions with me about this manga and very rarely did he express any of this negativity.

My assholery: I got frustrated, it was like he wanted me to see how much he could hurt me. I messaged him saying, "Hey what are you saying here, that's not how this character is written. The chapter is bad but this criticism is baseless and in bad faith" He laughed it off, "It's not that deep, this is fiction." I argued that's a shallow thing to say, he said it should have been like FANON since that makes more sense. I said that's conventional writing I thought we wanted different things than the same old nice characters in found family and such.

Then I said something about his favorites and hypocrisy, he said he's not so into it that he couldn't take criticism. I said that was a lie he's always writing essays about those characters. I also said criticize it for the right reasons damn it. He kept denying his own love for his fave so he could keep criticizing mine, because he at least had the sense to not fall for a shounen series. I asked if he was enjoying hurting me. He said are you for real, get a grip and stop justifying your behavior for fiction, they won't giving you cookies for defending them, if you can't bear to see negativity then feel free to mute or block. I snapped and said this is why no one likes casual fans, you can't keep your mouth shut about things you don't know. Have fun with being a two faced friend to everyone. Then I blocked him everywhere.

Some of my friends said I should have muted him long ago, I said this was inevitable if he was just going to validate everyone in vicinity, he had to pick a side. Others said I was right to tell him off. I regret some of the comments I made now.

AITA for the way I handled it? He is right, I could have muted him, I could have not spent my time doomscrolling and seeing all the bad takes he agreed with. I could have waited it out and not dropped an old friend over fiction. I could have done many things.

Please don't comment about touching grass, that's the least helpful thing anyone can say on blorbo the website. It's not a real advice we all know that. Therapy is also there for the depression and it will take years for me to get over the death, you don't need to remind me.

What are these acronyms?

[skaruresonic]

Remember me? To start off: I'm sorry about triggering some terrible and mentally painful memories when I went off about how I felt about the state of Flynn criticism. I never intended that. I wasn't defending or, heck, even trying to invite discussion about Flynn's rabid fanatics anyway. I could've chosen my words better, but aside from the detractors' mentalities, I meant to focus on Flynn ONLY. And I have nothing against your or their fan fictions. I do fan fiction, too. I just noticed what seemed like extreme shilling surrounding their exposure. I don't aim (and never did) to change minds about the dude, but I find the constructiveness of the critical discourse has been long lost.

Fitting that I received your ask on the first-year anniversary of my visual novel.

And I have nothing against your or their fan fictions. I do fan fiction, too.

Then why bring it up? What does "and your fics aren't even that good" add to the conversation about another writer's work?

I just noticed what seemed like extreme shilling surrounding their exposure.

Ah. There it is.

Look, I'm going to be brutally honest with you. But before I do, I want you to know I'm not angry with you, just annoyed - and perhaps angry in general at the overall situation we're in.

Honestly, the current climate is reminding me of the time antis gentrified Half-Life and caused the old guard to disperse. Everyone in our mutual circle is drifting away from Sonic in some form or another because it's such a toxic cesspit, and what's worse, they blame us for it. Would you want to stay in a situation like that?

Anyway, I have no patience for "you keep shilling your work" anymore because that standard only seems to apply to us. If we held everyone else to that standard, this entire Chili's would be revealed as hypocrites in an instant.

The fic mocking is not an isolated event. I've seen it happen over and over again, for years. Folks mocked Crusher's fic and OCs on TV Tropes. Folks mocked Darklight's OCs on Twitter. Folks sneered that we were too stupid to comprehend storytelling, and once someone said "none of them can even draw."

They can never leave it at "their criticisms suck." No, they have to make things so much more personal than they need to be. In the absence of an actual argument, they call you names, say you deserve all kinds of punishment, including but not limited to death and rape. Crusher had to delete hundreds of threats from his inbox. So please forgive me if my patience has waned paper-thin.

Folks feel the need to knock us down a peg because they think it's "warranted" on the basis of "we have egos." Which is a riot when, again, everyone on social media shills their work. That's what fandom does. You cannot throw a rock in here without hitting someone who thinks their AU improves on the games. I don't know why IDW is so sacrosanct that saying "I could probably do better" is considered blasphemy.

Whether or not my friends shill their own work as being "better" than IDW or whatever else is irrelevant. IDW staff are professionals (or should be, anyway); what do they care if some rando thinks they can do better? Besides, have you heard Flynn's recent grumblings about how he's tired of having the same conversations about his work since he was in high school? Why does he keep answering questions he doesn't want to dignify with a response? Why does he sound so miserable for someone who essentially Won the Game(tm)?

People telling you your work sucks a couple of times, yeah, maybe you can chalk that up to trolling. But when damn near everyone takes the excuse to hit below the belt, you start to feel less like "don't feed the trolls" and more like you're deliberately being targeted as a punching bag.

And I'm sorry, but I have no patience for that stuff. Take whatever umbrage you want with the state of criticism these days, but leave the fic out of it. That's all I ask.

[bonesandthebees]

I heard your asks were open for this kind of thing, so why not (I don't mind a late reply, anyone can take a break. Trust me, I've taken a few days off myself. No need to apologise if that is the case)? Things have been pretty damn hard for the community, and I admire you for what you've done with the character. Your work has always been amazing to read, and I'm glad you're going to continue your ongoing work at the very least. I've seen you speak about how the community is gone... Which I'm not so sure of. So many people came together to support the victims in this situation, and so many people have taken c!Wilbur in as their own. There was very little involvement of that man in the Minecraft community in the first place... At least toward the end of everything. Sure, he was still referenced and included, but most work was not his (work from the QSMP admins or the fans of the Dream SMP). It's certainly sad to see people move on, but I can fully understand why they're doing that. All of this has sucked for me personally, given that I'm an Introject. My head mates have taken to calling me the "better one" because I'm actually fucking normal. I often see the Dream SMP as my work, and I've been working on perhaps putting a rewrite out there someday. This community is beautiful, and I don't think it will ever truly die out. If it's a group of people in the future, drawing c!Wilbur or fan art of a fan fiction... Or if it's only one person, just having a good time. You all are far more powerful than you think, and you all are beautiful. I respect everyone so deeply for the work that they've put in to everything. Remember, you didn't know and you couldn't have known. It wasn't your fault. There were no signs... There was nothing. Sincerely, the better Will (Good God, it's like that fucking meme).

aw thank you, yeah I didn't want to lose out on a story I'd been so excited to write for so long because That Guy turned out to be a shithead. I refuse to let him ruin that for me.

I'm definitely exaggerating a bit when I say the community is gone. you're right, there are plenty of people who are reclaiming the character and I think that's fantastic. but from what I've seen, it's a minority. the majority of the community has decided to move on, whether that be by focusing on other characters (like the uptick I've seen in bedrock bros content lately, or those of us shifting to qsmp) or by leaving for other fandoms entirely. and the community is never going to be what it was, or even a fraction of it. I'm mourning what it used to be, I suppose.

also, I can't imagine how tough this must be for introjects like you (and I'm sure any fictives based off c!wilbur are also struggling, though I'd imagine not to the extent of introjects). I hope you've been holding up alright!

I also have so much respect for this community and I'm just so glad I got to be a part of it at its peak. I definitely think it's always going to exist in some form, it's just going to be much quieter than it used to be.

[vintage-bentley]

The spoilers anon - it's exactly the starmaker Crowley / unnoticed nobody Aziraphale I wanted to talk about. To be fair, I've also only read spoilers by other people, so if that turns out to be wrong, I'll be the most overjoyed. This decision to include pre-fall Crowley was so stupid! How could Neilman look at his book, which is at it's core about two *equal* *nobodies*, and fuck it up so badly!!! Crowley isn't an important arch/angel, he's just some guy! So is Aziraphale! They are two cogs of the machine who were brave enough to rebel! That's the whole point!!!

Not to mention the slew of overpowered-Crowley-who-intimidates-Aziraphale-and-who-everyone-bows-down-to fanfics this is going to inspire 😒

I’m actually really really excited to see the pre-fall era. It’s a big part of any heaven/hell related story, and I’m excited to see a fleshed out backstory for the husbands.

However.

It would’ve been really easy to ham up the idea that Heaven works like any other job, and have Crowley be similar to a construction worker. As you said, just a cog in the machine. The universe is so huge and there’s so many stars and nebulas and whatnot, it makes sense that the angels working on them would just be like worker bees, probably overseen by higher angels (especially given the quote was “I HELPED build that one”). I was hoping that would be the case for Crowley, and that Aziraphale would have something similar, probably a job working on Eden. I love the idea of pre-fall Crowley being associated with above and pre-fall Aziraphale being associated with below, then they swap the associations because of Crowley falling.

This isn’t a relationship that should have a power imbalance, even if it’s not present any more. They’re supposed to be two sides of one coin, complete nobodies who got lucky enough to be sent up to Earth, and who ended up siding with Earth over their respective “sides”. I was hoping this concept would apply to their pre-fall backstory, as well. I don’t think Crowley’s going to canonically be an Archangel at least, but it does sound like he’s at least one rank higher than Aziraphale. I’m not a fan.

I also am hesitant to like the idea of them meeting before Eden. The wall scene was such a perfect meet-cute scenario, and I love the idea of Crowley meeting Aziraphale for the first time and falling in love with him damn near immediately. As well as the idea that when Aziraphale was so eager to go on about Eden at the airbase, it was because that’s the story of how he met Crowley his husband.

I don’t like the idea of a fork being thrown in that. The story was good how it was. My best-case scenario was a pre-fall scene where they walk by each other but don’t notice each other…there’s something poetic about it with the audience knowing these two passer-by’s are one day going to be the centre of each other’s lives. I think scenarios where they knew each other in Heaven should be left to fan fiction.

However…now that you bring up that certain genre of GO fanfic, I’m starting to wonder if, because this information is very much he-said-she-said, this is just fan interpretation. Like hypothetically let’s say fans saw episode 3 of season 1 early, and came back telling everyone they saw woman Crowley. We’d freak out, but then go watch it and see a very much male Crowley who just has long hair. So it’s possible that, just like it would be in that scenario, this is just fans seeing what they want to see, and believing it.

However I did hear something about Crowley requesting assistance from a lesser angel and that being Aziraphale. I’m taking it with a grain of salt, though.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Hey girl! I'm a huge fan of your mortal kombat and COD fics :) I loved every single one that I've read so far (planning on reading your Bodyguard!Ghost fic tonight!) and I really enjoy reading your HCs and your answers to the questions that people send you!! You have such a way with words and I'm just in absolute awe of your writing. Also, the one-shot fic you wrote recently of Konig's POV in the Just Friends AU? I damn near DIED when I read it oh my god. Such a beautiful, deliciously dark, and poetic piece of writing. You've truly outdone yourself, seriously!

I had a question regarding your process when it comes to writing. I really love the idea of writing a fanfic, but I have no idea were to start! I used to write fan fiction for fun when I was younger, but I had a really embarrassing experience that put me off of writing completely. I'm now trying to get back into writing, but it feels so... hard! I tried writing a small slasher fic a few months ago, but it felt like rolling a boulder up a hill. It took a very long time and I was never quite satisfied with what I wrote, so I never finished it.

I really want to try writing a Konig fic, but I have a hard time thinking of an interesting plot that I would be excited to write about. Also, fleshing out a character like Konig (who we have very little canon information about), is something I am struggling with. Which is why I really loved your Walküre and Just Friends series, because you were able to make Konig and the reader these incredibly interesting, really complex, three-dimensional characters!

So, I guess my question (or questions, at this point. lol.) to you is: What advice would you give someone who's trying to write their first, proper fic? What's your writing process like? What do you do to help get your imagination going? What do you use for inspiration and what makes you excited to write? How do you manage to take an idea or a HC and manage to craft a whole fic out of it?

Any advice is greatly appreciated, thank you in advance! <3 <3

First of all, thank you so much! I have actually cried twice just thinking about this ask, your kind words made me so happy and emotional. I’m so so glad that you liked my fics (especially the MK one which I’m not that proud of)!

I’m sorry to hear you had such an experience as a young aspiring writer. I had the courage to share my fics only this year, and I’m over 30 yrs old! So the fact that you’ve put your works out there early on and had to deal with things like that must’ve been upsetting. Creative pieces are always a piece of our soul as well.

Also non-relevant but I love slashers too!! Aahhh!! 🔪❤️‍🔥 I hope you will someday find the passion to finish and publish that fic (I bet I would roll in it).

And umm, I feel I'm kinda poop at giving advice but I'll try my best! ->

Where to begin?

The reason why I wanted to bring the MK work up is because it was my very first proper fic and I wanted to say that I know exactly how you feel with the 'rolling a boulder uphill' -thing! The process with my first fic was exactly like that. I wrote it on/off for 2 years because I felt like the story and my writing sucked.

I don't know if you're suffering from the same thing, but I had a desperate need to make a good story (whatever that means, lol.) Of course we want people to enjoy what we create, but in my case, this perfectionism nearly killed my motivation to write. So the first thing I highly recommend is to shake off the need to be perfect and all the other intrusive thoughts that disturb your writing process ❤️‍🩹

So instead of trying to create a "good" story, I started to concentrate on the things I want to write. What would be the most delicious, cute, smutty or lovable imagine to write if no one was there to judge? What moves me in a character or a trope? What if I ditch all the rules and just write, even if the story and the plot don't yet make sense?

I started to write for myself and create scenes for the simple joy of it. The story became my safe space where I rushed to immerse and indulge after work. It became my guilty pleasure. Writing always becomes fun and inspiring again when I treat the story like it's my own little playground where I can do whatever I want. Everything else in life is compulsory, but my own little imaginary world is there just for me!

What also helped me was to read a ton of fanfics from writers whose style and stories I admired. It doesn't matter if the fics you read are not from the fandom you're writing for, actually, it might be better if they're not! That way you can get a sense of direction on where you want to go with your writing while also maintaining a clean palate for your own headcanons and ideas.

Writing process

This is a tough one because my writing process is very chaotic. I never know what I’m about to write or what the final version of a story will look like.

I usually start by writing the most hedonistic, self-indulgent scene first. For example in Just Friends the first scene I wrote was reader watching König masturbate in the shower. I just thought it was a tasty imagine 🙄 I thought it would be funny if his reaction to noticing her would be to blurt that he was thinking about how tight she is… Like, no one in their right mind would say that!

König's reaction then gave me the idea of him being delusional – this dark yandereish character who's obsessed with women and killing. My hands now itched to write this story. I needed reader to be drawn to him despite his craziness, and thought it could be because of his knives…? And proceeded to put a scene in the beginning where she admires his knife skills and tricks.

Then I had the idea that the knives could play an even bigger role in the story – wait, they could provide one of the main themes, actually! Knives ended up connecting these two characters in a distortedly romantic way. Apparently, it was a compelling read for some, and I got to indulge in my knife kink 🙈

So in a way, I start by self indulging and then kind of let the story tell itself? Allow it to introduce elements organically? I'm sorry if this sounds cryptic, I honestly don't have a method to my madness, at least not yet!

Only after I’ve written a few scenes that "want to come out" I start to see recurring themes, symbolism, classic storytelling components… When they pop up spontaneously, I take note and then add more of that same ingredient if I find it necessary (for example knives in Just Friends).

Only after I’ve written enough scenes to make a story, I start to edit & polish it into fic. See if the sentences and paragraphs have a nice rhythm, replace some words with synonyms that sound better, remove or add things if necessary.

Inspiration/imagination

I personally happen to love myths & folklore and I guess it shows because I sometimes refer to my characters as gods, angels, demons, krakens, tengus and whatnot. I read about classic Greek myths and immediately associate König with Theseus or some other tragic hero. I read about Japanese “dog-men” who live in the wilderness and train people in the art of war, and think about Hanzo Hasashi and how he is a demonic outcast who roams the realms in search of love retribution.

I draw shamelessly from myths and archetypes because they speak to the unconscious and add a fairytale-like touch to the story. I think most people are naturally drawn to these elements even if the fic otherwise is not a mythical/fantasy au.

Real life, real people, real hobbies and experiences are good sources for inspiration too, actually, they're one of the best! Some people are good at humor and make their stories feel an uplifting comfort read, some people have suffered severe depression and can describe the depths of existential pain with astonishing beauty. Some writers can describe with realistic detail how it feels like to shoot an AK-47 because they practice shooting.

So as a writer you can (and should!) draw inspiration from anything and everything you see, hear, smell or touch. Treat your life experiences, big or small, as resources. One time I started to write a short drabble on a rainy day and introduced the scene by describing how the rain batters against the window. So even small, cliche, trivial things like the day's weather can be inspiring and serve the story.

How to craft headcanons

When I try to get to know a character I simply immerse myself in the source material. I try to ignore the fan stuff that’s already been created, even if it's what got me into the fandom in the first place. I try to make my own judgments and interpretations no matter what I've seen or heard up until that point.

For example for König I listened to his voicelines a lot, I watched videos of him and even watched them in slow mo because I wanted to study the way he moves (lol I’m normal about him)

I tried to study things like: What vibe does he give? Does he resemble someone I know irl? Do his eyes tell a story, what kind of a past does this man have? Is he shy? If so, what kind of shy? Or is he arrogant and spiteful? A bully who used to be bullied? Etc etc.

Some of my hc’s come from how I view different people in real life, in yandere!König's case I exaggerate a lot but it’s basically just a mashup of people I associate him with. That’s where I start and then I might get further ideas of "I just know he would do this" or "he would say that", and it’s basically like baking bread and you add flour every now and then until the dough swells on its own? (lol what a metaphor)

I also have to give a shoutout to all the amazing people here who have sent me messages and headcanons and thoughts on König, without the input of other people I would never have come up with some of the things I did! So don’t be afraid to call other people to join & bake the bread with you? ^^ If you have friends in the fandom, brainstorm with them. My asks are SADLY closed atm but anyone who wants to brainstorm about König or Ghost is always welcome to my dms 🩷

Crafting a fic from hcs

My first hc ever for König was that he must be a gym guy because he's so athletic. Then I thought how heartbreaking it would be if he was this stereotypical "battling my inner demons" gym guy, because he kinda gives off this loner energy, right...?

From here, you could already craft a story where poor loner König meets someone at the gym. The first scene could be ripe with pining and flirting and how sweet it is that König forgets about his inner demons everytime he sees his gym crush. Next scene: first date. Is it awkward or cute? Both? What kind of dynamic does this couple have?

Third scene: do you want to write smut? Do they have sex or do you want to add some angst & drama, maybe introduce a third wheel and make König suffer? (Poor guy just went to the gym to escape his inner demons and now he's suffering even more omg)

Hope these were of any help! I wish you all the best with your writing! 🩷💋

So hc's are like breadcrumbs that lead you to scenes, and scenes lead you to a story 💕

[lonesome-witching]

34, 35 and 36, and my free pass question is: "how did you find out you're a lesbian?"

Thank you for the questions. This might be a long one.

34) What will always make me cry?

I don't really cry a lot. I'm trying to think if there is anything. I mean I mostly cry because of an insane amount of work that'll leave me burnt out and sleep deprived. I'm sure like the right insult would make me cry.

35) What kind of first impression do I think I make on people?

This is gonna sound very self deprecating, but I always think I come off as weird, anti social, awkward, nothing positive really. I mean maybe I'm a little funny. But I don't think people get my humor upon first meeting so it'll just come off weird again. I don't know. That's what I think but I've been told that people often like me very quickly, which might just be because I'm a really good listener and a lot of people want to talk about themselves.

36) The free pass. Your question: how did I find I'm a lesbian?

This is a two part answer because I didn't until like 2 years ago. But I knew I was into girls when I was like 13. I thought I was bisexual for the longest time, which looking back at it was probably comphet. I am gonna answer both aspects of the question.

So, I knew I was into girls simply because I had a massive crush on a girl from class. She was straight of course, and not interested, but I did date her best friend for a while after that. The realization fell over me like a ton of bricks when she ran up to me wearing a basketball jersey and I just thought, 'damn, I wanna kiss her'.

I knew I was lesbian when I was like 22, because of ronance fan fiction. This is a true story. I had just gotten into Stranger Things and ronance and Maya Hawke, when I read this fan fiction where Nancy asks Robin how she knew she was a lesbian and Robin answers something along the lines of (I don't remember the exact quote) 'because I imagine my future and I could never see myself with a guy and I could only see myself with a girl' and I think that was the moment that for the first time I thought about myself being with a guy and I hated that image. Like it didn't fit me, or something. I could only see myself with a woman. So, yeah, that is how ronance fanficion helped me discover myself.

Ask me a question

[mestos]

I JUST FINISHED WATCHING M26!

LITERAL CHILLS. My hands are sweating as I'm typing this. Now I can appreciate your art about it even more!

The movie was great but I feel there's something missing but can't point it out. It feels... short?

!!Spoiler for next:

I know it'a fiction but damn, Conan, how could you handle that (probably adrenaline?). And how'd you know it was Haibara who saved you(not that I'm conplaining), it's practically dark under the sea and you have no goggles!

-the fan that's fan-ning

Welcome back anon!!! Sorry this is a bit late, working during holiday season got kinda hectic 😔

Y'know, I get you on the fact that it feels short. I let the movie marinate in my head for a bit, and its been a good couple of weeks now since I've seen it, and I do have to agree that the plot progression from point A to B was kinda disappointingly short.

I think from my POV, as Haibara takes more of a damsel role, it kind of disappoints me that the movie hypes up her kidnapping but she is saved not too long after. I feel this way about the Mystery Train arc too lol that for a Haibara centred movie/arc, she's still treated as a B-plot. And that bothers me a lot.

As a production I get the limits. They can't afford to make too much alterations on the status quo as a long running franchise, which is why they can't quite afford to spend time on already a pretty huge decision (the B.O making direct contact with Haibara after the canon explicitly has moved on since then) so they have to find a way to return back to the floating timeline somehow.

But it's a bit contradictory at the same time, given the fact that they've explicitly established a continuity going on here—Irish & Curacao being explicitly referenced, Akai & Amuro motifs referencing Darkest Nightmare, etc—so at that point, I feel like they could have done much more to adjust the plot with some liberties.

One of the biggest weaknesses about the movies is that they'd market a specific character as a focal point of the movie to grab your attention and make you watch it, only to find out they're actually just the last 5 mins of the movie (The Scarlet Bullet left some scars in me 🥴). This movie surprisingly subverts this where Haibara actually takes a decent amount of screen time and a LOT of plot importance, but it still, mysteriously feels tacked on at the end of the day. I only feel this way because I felt that the movie would jump between intense scenes but not pad it long enough to make lasting impact—Conan & Haibara repeating their iconic glasses exchange was very cute, but the sudden shift between that scene and the next was just off by just a beat imo, for example—and Haibara being saved literally in the first operation Conan goes out to get her felt like the challenge & consequences were a bit too easy. Where was the struggle? Just the suspense? It didn't really feel rewarding to see her get saved, despite the intensity of her kidnapping.

Where I would make the changes? I feel as though the last part of the movie should have interwoven with the rescue in itself. Not that the little coffee exchange wasn't cute, but in the greater picture I feel as though they could've rode on that wave of suspense & thrill and receive a greater payoff than what we had. But, well, that's just me.

Might be asking too much for a detective conan movie 🤪

[powerful-niya]

I know you're a busy person, but I saw this on Twitter and I'd love to know your answers 🙈 also no pressure, take all the time you need ❤

Hello, @chloelapomme!! So incredibly sorry for the late reply! I was meaning to answer your ask sooner but I family matters came up following up with my new college classes for spring so my hands has been full.

But nevertheless, I was so happy to see your ask and the questions you sent me! I enjoy answering these! So thank you for the wonder ask! 💜

It's taken me a couple of days to finish these questions but at last, I have!

╔══•●•══╗

✎*ೃ˚ 1. Fics Completed This Year? ✎*ೃ˚

I've Completed two fics in 2022.

Heartaches and Heartbreaks - NHPrompts22

Mine (Naruhina Halloween Oneshot)

✎*ೃ˚ 2. Fics started this year? ✎*ೃ˚

I've started three fics in 2022.

Heartaches and Heartbreaks - NhPrompts22

Mine (Halloween Oneshot)

When Love Lasts - 2022 NH Month Event

✎*ೃ˚ 3. Drabbles written this year? ✎*ೃ˚

In 2022, I wrote a lot of drabbles. (I can't say an exact number, maybe 27 or 28, give or take)

Some of them are standalone drabbles, while others are the next parts of my ongoing stories The Unknown and Heated.

Some drabbles I've started I may not finish, I've decided.

Some drabbles are destined for upcoming stories. I won't talk too much about those though, hehe.

✎*ೃ˚ 4. Total Word Count for the Year? ✎*ೃ˚

Although I'm unsure of my exact word count, I'll just say it's wayyy more than 100,000. I've written a lot in 2022, and I'm sure it's more than 100k words—possibly even 200k or 300k, easily.

I just write so damn much. 🥴

✎*ೃ˚ 5. Longest Completed fic of the year? ✎*ೃ˚

Actually, I haven't finished any lengthy fanfics this year. Sadly. 😭😭

Hell, none of my main fics (Heated & The Unknown) are finished, and that's a bummer. However, I'm committed to completing The Unknown and Heated in 2023.

The only thing I completed in 2022 was the oneshot book - Heartaches and Heartbreaks which was a contribution to the NhPrompts22 event that was hosted by @tessdrawss back in March of 2022.

So for 2023, I'm really getting my butt in gear, haha. I want to finish a lot more stuff.

✎*ೃ˚ 6. Shortest completed fic of the year? ✎*ೃ˚

The shortest fic I finished in 2022 was a Naruhina Halloween special one-shot. The fanfic one-shot was named "Mine," and it was a horror fic that I had wanted to write for a long time.

I had the plot in my head all year in 2022 and really wanted to write it, so I decided to write it as a special during Halloween in 2022.

The one-shot was divided into three long portions, lol. In all honesty, I have no idea how to keep one-shots short. It’s a real struggle.

✎*ೃ˚ 7. Favorite fic to work on? ✎*ೃ˚

My favorite story to work on, eh? I suppose I should say "The Unknown." I've been working on that fanfiction for so long and it’s truly taken me on a wild writing journey. I have to be honest and say that I really love the horror, gore, and dark romance the fanfic possesses.

I really adore how I portrayed demon Naruto in the fic too. Idk, something is wrong with me, I know, lol. He's so freaking scary but hot at the same time. Idk, how I accomplished that.

I am definitely looking forward to writing the conclusion for what I have in mind. I am really awaiting the time I will be able to have time to sit down and really write this fic because I have so much planned for it, lol!

I've been just really busy. I am also easily distracted too!!

But in 2023, I'll be spending a lot of time working on this story and moving it to AO3. However, I had originally intended to alter this story greatly. I want to improve and tweak it.

The Unknown, though, has to be my current favorite of the several fan fictions I'm working on.

✎*ೃ˚ 8. Hardest fic to work on? ✎*ೃ˚

To be honest, the fanfic 'Heated' has been bothering me. I continually experience writer's block and I dread writing the fic. I'm also finding flaws in the fanfic.

Don't get me wrong, I adore the fan vs. idol trope that "Heated" creates, as well as the fact that Naruto is the leader of a popular band and Hinata’s the cutesy fangirl, but…I find myself continuously modifying stuff in the fic, and I dread writing it.

I'm not sure what my deal is.

But, despite my frequent setbacks, I expect to finish the fic in 2023, hopefully at the end of spring.

✎*ೃ˚ 9. Writing lessons you learned this year? ✎*ೃ˚

I've learned that forcing myself to write is never the solution. I discovered that the best moment to write is when I am inspired, as well as when I have planned exactly what I want to write ahead of time.

I believe that you should never force yourself to write or create any sort of piece.

A dear buddy once said that it takes time to create a masterpiece, so give it some time! Do not rush the process!

@sessakag I'm looking at you, haha! 💜👀💜

I also just have advice in general, advice that I have learned myself this year as well.

Never, ever allow someone to force you to do anything. Do it on your own terms, when you are no longer preoccupied with life's hassles. You'll have a lot more fun with the process.

Don’t force something to be, is what I am saying. Things will play out as they should.

In 2022, I had to remind myself several times that writing is a passion, not a job. Calm down, Niya, sheesh! Lol.

✎*ೃ˚ 10. Most Anticipated Wip for Next Year. ✎*ೃ˚

Without a doubt, it's The Good Old Days. I am really excited to bring the ACA characters and the plot back.

I am very excited to share the crazy narrative of (A Crazy Accident’s) Naruto's past with my readers. I've been dying to write this particular fanfic for such a long time, and I'm thrilled to announce that I'll be publishing this fanfiction in 2023!

It’s about time, right, lol!

╚══•●•══╝

I hope you enjoyed reading my responses to the wonderful questions at the top. I have a lot planned for 2023, and I'm excited to see what I come up with as a result.

In 2022, I have accomplished a lot but I plan to accomplish even more in 2023. 💪🏽

Once again, thank you for the ask Chloe! I hope you've had a wonderful Christmas and equally wonderful start of the New Year! 💜🤍

╚══•●•══╝

[risingsouls]

🦎[What do you think could be done to improve Super as a series?]

🦎 for my work thoughts || Always Accepting!

[Hoo boy. That's a big question because I would change so damn much. But I think I can sort it down to three main categories:

Tone Whiplash

Taking the interesting concepts introduced and keeping them interesting

Make it feel less like a parody (which is sort of a combo of the two but)

Probably one of the biggest issues I have with Super is the tone whiplash we get from Z to Super. For me, Z evolved from Dragonball's fun, comedic, and more whimsical tone to Z's well-implemented balance of seriousness when the moment called for it while keeping some of the fun and humor from DB. In other words, the series felt like it matured with the characters to put it a different way. Then Super comes in and it feels like it's more interested in reviving much of DB's comedic tone, relying more on jokes and fan service rather than actually continuing the story with a tone similar to what we get in Z. Moments that deserve anything other than a laugh feel passed over if not disregarded in seconds. The characters we watched grow and mature and change feel completely regressed to either what we see in DB if they were there (big examples being Goku and Bulma for this) or their characterization goes full tilt into One Attribute to the point od the character feeling totally flat or their motivations and actions just don't make sense because of it (Vegeta is a good example of this one). And all of this is, as I said, either for a laugh or because of fan service (and I don't just mean the sexy kind, either; excuse my tinfoil hat here, but I've been convinced for a long time that Super's writers are absolutely actively taking cues from fan material and reactions far more than they did with Z because I know there were issues with that back then too) makes it feel like you're watching a completely unrelated series if not just a fan made series. If you're not prepared for it, it's a really big slap in the face and jarring.

The next thing that absolutely sucks with Super is they really do actually introduce a lot of neat concepts and plots but....do nothing with them or ruin them by the end of the arc. Super is a bottomless mine for new concepts from God Ki In general, gods of destruction, angels, and the new universes to new forms(?) like Ultra Instinct, Beast Gohan, Orange Piccolo (both stupid names) and Ultra Ego. But we get next to zero explanation of them, and if we do, it's conflicting or even completely retconned later in the series. Again, it feels like it's all done just to do it and bring in a new form or power or whatever without making it feel relevant or giving any understanding as to why it's special from what we already know and understand. Similarly, pretty much all of the main arcs start our with interesting premises. However, most of the time, by the end, it becomes a huge train wreck and the whole thing just felt like a waste of time (the Goku Black arc which doesn't deserve the hype the fandom gives it I'll say it and the Granolah arc are good examples for basically the same reason). In every arc, it basically feels like there are no real stakes, and, if there were stakes like in the ToP, they get ripped out from beneath us by the god of gods saying they only made the tournament to see if the winner would wish back the other universes from being erased. And even with the concession of Zeno apparently claiming that he would erase all the universes if the winner made a selfish wish, it just makes the entire arc feel pointless. And this feels like it happens in every arc: if the plot had any teeth, by the end, they've been completely ripped out.

And finally, it just needs to not feel like I'm watching or reading a parody or poorly executed fan fiction. As I said this kind of puts both of them together and is just big on how poor the writing is most of the time, from the plot to the characters themselves. I mean shit there's not even blood. And I guess I get they're trying to appeal to a younger audience but listen. I was watching Goku beat the tar out of Frieza at 6 and I liked the series just fine, blood and not constant jokes and all. And maybe I'm just asking to much of this series but damn. If it felt like there was half the effort put into Super as was put into Z (which don't get me wrong could have used a little more effort and care itself in places), this could have actually been a halfway enjoyable series. But as it stands, I can barely handle a few episodes at a time or more than the monthly manga chapter to sate my curiosity and see if anything I want to see in this series comes to pass.]

[kmbezner]

Aaaaaand it's time for my top ten favorite reads of the year! In no particular order:

Notes from the Burning Age by Claire North

I'll start with the first book I read this year, cause WOW what a book to start with. I started reading this as an egalley at the end of 2021, but didn’t finish it before it expired 😭 It’s a truly amazing cocktail of one part dystopian climate fiction, one part political thriller, one part fantastical mythology, garnished with a bit of philosophy. North seamlessly weaves these elements in a way that makes you want to write like that.

Full Review | Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

The Carrying by Ada Limón

The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio

I read both of these books during a kind of nonfiction blitz challenge that started when my supervisor in the reference department asked for staff picks for a display and I realized I hadn't read any nonfiction in an embarrassingly long time. Both of these ended up on the staff pick display, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about them since.

The Carrying is a beautiful collection of poetry I had read single poems from before, but the entire collection comes together to paint a picture of loss and love traced across generations.

Short Review | Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

I listened to The Undocumented Americans, which I highly recommend as Villavicencio reads it herself and does a wonderful job. It's in part a collection of interviews that turns to reflect Villacencio's own life and the connections she makes with those she meets.

Bookshop | Local Library | Indiebound | Libro

On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

The Honeys by Ryan La Sala

These were both book club reads, one for my local library's graphic novel book club and the other for QUEST RI. The funny thing is that I ended up not being able to attend the actual meeting for either of them, but damn they were good.

I've been a fan of Tillie Walden for a while now, and am kicking myself for not reading this one sooner. They are SO skilled at that kind of faded nostalgia, that bittersweet, melancholic sadness through gorgeous artwork and sparse, emotional storytelling. Also, gays in space.

Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound

The Honeys is a perfectly tense and taut YA thriller that is so hard to put down. It's got a dark academia vibe despite being set at a summer camp, with plenty of surreal summer feels and guillotine-the-rich vibes.

Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy by Jenny Odell

This book has been on my TBR for a while now, and when the college library I work at started looking for recommendations for next year’s college-wide read on the theme of social media, I figured it was finally time to jump on it. It was much more than I expected, mainly because I was expecting a kind of self-help book plus. But this book isn’t just about putting down your phone every once in a while, it’s an exploration of a cultural shift that’s centuries in the making. Odell discusses art, music, philosophy, psychology, politics, and of course big tech as she traces how our attention has become a commodity to be monetized.

Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

His Majesty's Dragon by Naomi Novik

The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo

These books are doing the job of carrying their whole series onto this list. No, it's not cheating, it's my list and my rules :)

I actually read His Majesty's Dragon years ago, and despite tearing through it didn't get around to reading the other books. During a months-long reading slump earlier this year I decided to dredge myself out of it by rereading a book I knew I liked, and letting the series carry me from there. And boy howdy it worked! I was hoping to finish the series this year, but due to life things and library holds that won't come in for a couple more weeks that plan has been thwarted :/

Short Review | Local Library | Indiebound | Libro

I was looking for a quick read when I started the Singing Hills Cycle, and was just astonished at how much lore Vo packs into these novellas. There is so much information about this world in such short and deeply satisfying books, each one a snapshot into a different aspect of the world, shared in ways that both celebrate and challenge the nature of storytelling, history, and memory.

Full Review | Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound | Libro

Frizzy by Claribel A. Ortega & Rose Bousamra

Received as an ARC from BookishFirst, this was not only one of my favorite books of the year, but is showing up on best of lists all over the place. And rightfully so—this middle grade graphic novel is about so much more than hair, as important as that is. I can’t stress enough that everyone should read this book.

Full Review | Local Library | Bookshop | Indiebound

Mage and the Endless Unknown by SJ Miller

No cover for this one, because it hasn’t been revealed yet! I read this comic as an egalley on Edelweiss and was instantly grabbed by the eerie artwork and because Iron Circus Comics consistently publishes some of my favorite books. Mage is a collected webcomic, and, without spoiling too much, is basically Over the Garden Wall by Junji Ito (so…CW for graphic imagery. yeah, I know the art starts off kinda cutesy, just trust me). Keep an eye out for this one next year, or if you can’t wait you can read the original webcomic online!

Read Online | Bookshop | Indiebound

[thirstdrafts]

Most of the time I think Crosshair would be Dominant in the bedroom, but this power struggle lemon has me thinking... 😳

Here, have some foreplay

***This is intended for 18+ ONLY. If you are not at least 18 you are not tall enough for this ride. GTFO and drink a Snapple or something.

BadBatch belongs to Disney and I in no way, shape or form take credit for these characters. The only thing I own is this small work of fan fiction. My fan fiction may be shared so long as it is credited and linked back to me (if possible).

The gang left the Marauder to go to the nearest town, but you had been too preoccupied to go. And by preoccupied, you meant sexually frustrated. They didn't have to know that, though.

Making sure to look busy at the front of the ship, you counted to ten minutes in your head. Promising your self that if ten went by, you could consider yourself safe from the boys stopping back because they forgot something.

After the longest ten minutes of your life, you let out a sigh. About damn time. You'd been on this ship longer than intended and with it being crowded beyond typical capacity you didn't have the privacy to relieve yourself.

Perhaps you threw yourself from the chair and stalked down the ship faster than you thought, because you were taken off guard and thrown against the wall. Lips pressed against yours firmly. Opening your eyes only when the person pulled back.

Crosshair. The tension between the two of you had been thick. Thick enough to confuse you about the kiss. The last few days you were certain you might kill each other, but here he was rubbing his hands down your arms and to your waist.

"Crosshair? What are you doing?" No lie, him being forward was a turn on. There was always something dark and sexy about him, but he never indicated liking anything about you. As a matter of fact, he made snide comments about your lack of talent with a blaster and how loud and obnoxious you were. "Seriously." His silence was getting to you.

"Taking advantage of the guys being gone."

"To what? Force a kiss on me?" You acted offended, but you wanted more.

"Mmmm. I see the way you look at me."

"And how is that?" Maybe testing him was a bit much, but damn was it fun.

"With want."

"I think you're full of it." Cocky little bastard.

"Oh? So everytime your bite your lip when I enter a room, I've been imagining it? Or what about the times I come back to the ship and you're staring at me way too long to be normal."

"What the actual fuck?" You said it louder than you meant, causing Crosshair to step back, alarmed.

"Did... I make a wrong accusation ?" The pitch in his voice showed that he was unsure and a tad insulted. It made you blush.

"No... I mean. I... I'm not even within your line of sight when you come back and I'm cleaning off the ship. I'm so in the distance..."

"Yeah, you seem to forget I have acute and accurate vision."

"I call bullshit. You can scope out things in the distance, but you can't see that far."

"I can see a lot better than you. You can barely use a blaster when a person is three feet in front of you."

This was enough. Crossing your arms, you found yourself pouting. "Was there a point to any of this?"

"Yes. I know you've been eyeing me up. With how hard you stare at me you either want to play with me or kill me. So which is it? Do you want to kill me?"

"No! I should though, the way you speak to me sometimes. Besides, if I am so bad with a gun why do you like me?"

"I never said I like you."

Now he was just pissing you off. He was so weird. One moment he was flirting with you and exuding sex appeal and the next he reverted to his callous self. "Cool. Go fuck yourself then. I don't have time for this. I'm not gonna beg you to like me and I sure as shit am not going to be some quick romp with you."

Crosshair pinned you back as soon as you went to walk away, raking your body up and down. "I also never said I didn't like you."

"Why must you be frustrating?"

"Do you like me?"

Your eyes went wide and then squinted in a glare shortly after. "If you need a damn ego boost, I don't give those out for free."

"Do you like me? Answer it and I will answer your question."

"Which question?" Hadn't you asked him a series of questions at this point?

"The one you asked."

Geez he was an aragant asshole. You weren't going to leave until you finished the conversation. That much you were sure of. As much as you wanted to tell him no. That he was the most irritating, cold member of the group... You couldn't bring yourself to lie.

"Yes. I fucking like you. I don't know why sometimes."

Crosshair leaned in, putting his lips on your neck and leaving kisses until he reached your ear. "Well, I like you very much."

You shivered. This dude had mood swings, but you were feeling the ride. "Still don't get how you could like someone you literally called "incompetent with a gun" when you're literally a sharp shooter."

His gruff chuckle against your skin reminded you that your pussy was already overstimulated and you were fully clothed. Now you were melting for him. "Gives me something to teach you. And a reason to get very, very close."

That was it. You were ready for him to take you there and then. But you had to keep composure. Had to give back the energy he was giving. If he wanted to act like a punk for days and then smooth talk his way into your pants, he would have to work for it. He started rubbing himself against you, but you put your hand on his shoulder and gently pushed down.

"Nope. If you want me, you're gonna have to earn it. Get on your knees and make me want you more."

The daring look in his eyes made you smirk. "And what makes you think-"

"Nope." You cut him off. "Remember. Good soldiers follow orders." He couldn’t help grinning, slowly sinking to the floor in front of you, you knew he would put in the work. And then most probably make you pay for it after. You really hoped the boys stayed gone for a while.

[laerien]

Redownloaded this app out of pure impulse. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

In truth, I'm navigating through a hell of a shame complex, and I've come up with every excuse over the past fifteen years to not let myself heal. I'm willing to bet this isn't a rare occurrence for other children who felt most alive submerging themselves in fictional universes to make up for the lack of pivotal human connection based in reality. I added to the criticism of mega fans and "tumblr girls" because I thought it would clear my name in the eyes of people I wanted to impress (which, in reality, at my lowest, was basically anyone). I bathed in the criticism until it became part of my subconscious, so when I would inevitably open an Incognito Google tab to binge breathtaking fanfiction or incredible fan art like the depraved child/teenager/adult I was (which was so much of my own twisted doing), I stalled out.

The cycle of letting these preconceived notions inform (taint) my view of things I genuinely enjoyed continues, but I'm actively trying to heal now. I'm recently going through a long term breakup that encompassed my entire adulthood years, and I've been nothing short of forced to get to know myself again. The person I'm relearning really wants to share her love for fandoms without filtering her enthusiasm for the sake of who she think may accept her.

So I've spent the past several months leaning into that, but I'll admit I've got a long way to go. I've caught up on so many animated Star Wars shows, for example, that I've put off because of my venomous preconceived notions (and an ex who claimed to be a fan but, like many things in our failed relationship, didn't match actions to words). I've started commenting on AO3 works that are fucking incredible without the fear that someone in reality will find out my psued and call me out (though, I admit, I still use Incognito mode because I'm not quite ready to defend myself in the imaginary court room that makes complete sense in my head). I started drawing fan art that I'm pretty damn proud of (but still working my way to sharing it). And I restarted writing - mostly character studies and explorations of grief and love and life, but a nice nod to my unpublished Pearl Harbor fanfiction story (that I hand wrote a page a day for for 123 days straight when I was 14, then typed it all out, edited it, then made six alternate endings for, then changed names and made an original prequel story - something I clearly never revealed to anyone but look at me go!). I've also read a whole book in 4 days, something I haven't done since I started despising book reading due to the pressure of the academic system a decade ago. I could go on and on about it - and I probably will in another post - but Star Wars: Dark Disciple's depiction of the dark side is not unlike this shame complex I'm carrying on about. And, boy, do I love my eyes being opened like that.

So while I can't promise I'll stay long this time, this is something 14 year old me craved but could never admit. Like I said, I've got a lot to work on (I logged in and saw an unread message from 2017 from someone I went to college with and immediately blocked them in fear of them - who I haven't spoken to in years and has been nothing but kind and supportive of my fandoms - calling me out, I guess?). But I want to celebrate how wonderful these fictional worlds are with people, so I've got to get over this fear that I'd be found out and taken away from it forever.

I've got so many incredible people on the internet to thank, and I plan to. I've found comfort at my lowest points over the past decade and a half because others had the courage I had lacked: to share their feelings. Sounds silly put that simply, but what's wrong with that?